I’m on a plane home from Texas. I’m suddenly overwhelmed by Gods grace and I feel His spirit moving. I have to share.
God has blessed me this year. But, if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that I don’t deserve anything good that I have. He brings a verse to mind, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the father of the heavenly lights.”
Visually, this verse blows me away. I imagine God, hovering over the whole world, surveying everything that exists. He can see all things at once, but I feel in this moment that he is choosing to see me — only me — for all that I am. Despite my brokenness, despite my inability to serve him perfectly, he is my eternal reward. He has chosen me, a stumbling messenger, to deliver his faultless story. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve his love, his grace, his constant sacrifice that gives and gives even when I can’t accept it. I see these blessings as physical rain, pouring from his hands, through the night sky, tracking this quickly moving plane. I can’t avoid it. He has intended it for me. It makes me laugh with joy. No one deserves this ridiculously relentless love.
I believe his spirit is moving and all I can feel him saying, over and over, like a mother whispering to her sleeping child. “I love you.” I breathe it in and breathe it out. “I love you.” Like oxygen to my lungs, his words restore my soul. “I love you.”
It’s been a long year so far. Started a business, and life is changing constantly. I’m learning a lot about myself. But in this moment I know it’s because I serve a God who disciplines those that He loves.
Breathe it in. He loves you.